5:30am Wednesday:
Mommy low point.
Admitting to Steve, after a morning feeding (which I didn't mind doing), following which Kinetic Boy would not go back to sleep, that I wasn't feeling much like being a mommy right at that moment, and then feeling guilty all day long for having this thought and worse, for admitting I even had it at all.
5:30pm Wednesday:
Mommy high point.
After playing for several hours in the crib throughout the day (rather than napping), a very tired Kinetic Boy was being gently restrained and rocked in my arms. He tried one last ditch effort to fight closing his eyes and entering dream land. Our eyes locked for a moment and he reached up towards my face and giggled and then laughed and then entered into the "I'm so tired that everything is hilariously funny" bellowing laugh phase. You know the kind. This went on for over 5 minutes. I couldn't help but join in. There is nothing more fun than laughing just to laugh - I mean really laughing - so hard that tears are rolling down your cheeks, with your baby, at who knows what, probably nothing at all except the laughter itself.
We have all been there - and are still there.. there are mornings when I think how am I going to garner the energy to do this all over again? But someway, somehow we make it through. As my Navy Seal brother tells me, "The only easy day was yesterday" hmmm.....
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