Motherhood: You can take the mother out of the 'hood, but you can't take the hood out of mother!

I've chosen to stay home with Peyton everyday. I wouldn't change my decision to do so for anything. I am however, exhausted each day from the sheer intensity of trying to put forth my "A" game each and every moment. I've never had a job (and I've had my fair share) more exhausting and rewarding, more unnerving and intense, more scheduled, yet completely unpredictable, on a daily bases than the one I've got: Mother.

As much as I love it, I miss my independence. I miss my freedom to come and go as I please. Those stimulating adult conversations I used to have and the ability to sleep like a rock at night and wake feeling rested are long gone. Sometimes, I just feel like I need a break.

When, on several occasions, Steve has taken time for himself this past year and a half and gone away from home for long weekends, whether it's for business or pleasure, it is with love and understanding, but also a twinge of jealousy, that I see him to the door. I often feel torn. Part of me wishes I were the one leaving to: explore new horizons, let my hair down, socialize, be an adult and have several days to just focus on me and my career. Then there's the other part of me who just doesn't want to miss a single breath-taking moment of motherhood; the good, the bad and the ugly of it.

And yet, on those rare occasions that I, too, take time for myself away from home, I can't stop wishing I was right back in my cozy abode. While the few hours I spend each week at my "real job" is a welcome break from motherhood, it is also a sucker-punch to my gut when I realize that being there means that I'm not here, at home with Peyton.

Still, I've been thinking about if for months now; I've been able to verbalize it for several weeks; it's been on the calendar for many days. As much as I want to go, but as hard as it is to leave, it needs to happen. It's time for this mother to get away for the weekend.

And this was not just any weekend with any old person either. My mom and I took a trip down memory lane, just the two of us, mother and daughter.



We spent the weekend in White Pass - just like we did that March weekend many, many, many years (probably half my lifetime) ago. We were showered with the works: rain, snow, sun and wind. Through all kinds of weather this weekend, we just loved our time away, breathing in the fresh mountain air and the wonderfully comfortable companionship that we share with each other.


Amended: We spent most of the weekend in White Pass. This time, we took an afternoon jaunt down the mountain to the east. Yakima. Also known as wine country.


Like mother, like daughter. Neither of us has the want or the will to enjoy, "too much of a good thing." We bid adieu to Yakima and it's wine and headed back west, to the top of the mountain pass.

This morning we woke up to a few inches of new snow. After a leisurely morning we headed outdoors for a brisk snow shoe hike and perhaps the last chance to feel the falling snow tickle our noses; this year anyway. Snow flurries came and went and the sun dared to peek through the clouds here and there making the morning and our surroundings sparkle and shine. It was the perfect ending to a perfect first weekend away from motherhood.


There is nothing like the feel of freedom and independence when I am away, but all the while I'm experiencing this awesome awakening of my spirit, I'm also wishing my family was with me to share in the beautiful moment. It's the part of me that I often feel is lost, that I spend much of my time longing to experience independently, that I want them to enjoy with me. Isn't that just the most ironic thing?

I guess the lesson I've just learned is that: you can take the mother out of the 'hood, but you can't take the hood out of mother.

Well, that and taking a break once in a while is breath of fresh air for everyone!