The Gift

We give and receive gifts for many reasons and we aren't always thrilled about what we find under all the wrapping. Still, a gift is a gift. Hopefully we recognize it for what it is: generous, thoughtful, heartfelt, purposeful, pretty, or if nothing else, a conversation piece. Still we have been conditioned to recognize a gift when it is given and to be thankful.

Today was my gift.

I raced out the door this morning to attend a pilates class. I was a couple minutes late and found the door locked. Much to my chagrin I retreated to my car. I had a little over an hour until I had to be back home and I felt defeated. I didn't have a book to pass the time reading at the local coffee house, nor did I have money, for that matter. There was a slight breeze and the frost was still melting, so a leisurely stroll would have been uncomfortable because I failed to grab a jacket in my haste to leave the house.

While sulking in the car I realized that I did have: an hour alone, bright blue skies and my running shoes. So, I CHOSE to be flexible, creative, and cheerful (all of which I'm not these days). I leapt back out of the car for the second time and off I went. Slowly at first, but eventually I found my stride. All those irritants and frustrations I've felt over the past couple of weeks were pounded into the pavement. Well, let's be realistic, not all, but plenty were driven to the ground and left behind this morning. It felt pretty good.

It wasn't all easy breezy. I had to overcome a plethora of emotions even while running. The first sun in spring does this to our quiet and otherwise sleepy town - everyone was out and about and HAPPY. The Farmer's Market was once again open and was bustling with busyness. The bay was glistening and enticing. This weekend is Art Walk and Procession of the Species, which brings out an assortment of people and activities to the downtown area and I noticed so very many young families with little babies just enjoying the moment. I was also struck with an intense feeling of sadness and jealousy. Not known for tears, I almost stopped a few minutes into my run and had a good cry. Embarrassed for even contemplating such behavior, I kept running - harder.

So what if my son and husband weren't with me? I was surrounded by lots and lots of joyful people, so there was no reason to feel lonely. So what if I might end up inside and alone the rest of the day? At the moment I was outside on a beautiful spring morning to do whatever I pleased. I was filling my heart with good, clean, Puget Sound air and the more I took in the better my body felt. The sunshine on my face was a foreign and yet welcome sensation. I was alone in my thoughts - good and bad.

Today was a gift. One hour, blue skies and running shoes.